Finding Happiness

Find Your Own Happiness

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Never settle for less than what you want.
Happiness doesn't just happen for most people, particularly in our fast-paced society where it's easy to feel isolated, rushed, and deprived in comparison to the "beautiful people" in magazines and movies and on TV. Research indicates that people today are significantly less happy and more depressed than our parents and grandparents ever were, despite all the computers, iPods, plasma TVs, and other grown-up toys that are available to us. The fact is happiness has to be sought out.

Steps on the True Path to Happiness

Be with the ones you love

So there I was at Andrei and Nadia's wedding, visiting with relatives I hadn't seen in years. Such a rare pleasure, because they live thousands of miles away. But research shows time with loved ones is a primary source of fulfillment.

Care about your work

Finding your work meaningful and having a sense of commitment to it not only makes you less prone to feeling stress on the job, but also promotes success—and happiness. That's true whether you're searching for a cure for cancer or building cars on an assembly line—you can look at it as just a paycheck, or as your life's work. Cultivating a sense of purpose can increase your satisfaction with your job and your life.

Maintain your health

It's easy to take health for granted until you don't have it anymore. But it turns out that the healthier you are, the more likely you are to be happy. The obvious moral is that you'll be happier if you eat right, exercise, get preventive care, and reduce your stress level.

Have regular sex

Physical intimacy is a key contributor to happiness. Married people report 30% more sex than singles, which may be one reason they also report being happier.

Ask about other people's experience

Our imaginative jaunts into future feelings or "affective forecasting." That is asking people who have been there and done that a question like, "What was it like being married to Max?" or "How is it working in an ER?" leads to more accurate forecasting.

Practice altruism

Helping other people is one of the most effective ways to boost your self-esteem, which in turn, uncorks a whole bottle of brain hormones which can lead to happiness, health, and well-being. His Holiness the Dalai Lama speaks of altruism as enlightened selfishness, because it ultimately serves your own happiness.

Become part of a community

Whether you're deeply involved with a religious group, a civic organization, or an athletic team, a feeling of strong community is one of the most important paths to happiness.

At the end of the day, joy comes from experiencing ourselves as part of a larger, meaningful whole. Accumulating material things won't get you there. Living the life of the heart is the authentic way to pursue happiness.

Tips to up your happiness quotient

Volunteer your time and energy. The upcoming holiday season means that there's an increased need for people to serve meals, raise funds, and visit the sick or needy.

Think of three people you love and haven't connected with lately. Get in touch and, if at all possible, make plans to see them.

Feeling lonely? Find a group to join, whether it's a book club, a religious organization, or a community chorus.